I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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