I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You are the jesus of drinking
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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