If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
