Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
