Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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