are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Found the puke drawer
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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