This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
