That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
