There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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