Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize