i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize