It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize