Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
