How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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