Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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