i need an iv and a liver transplant
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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