she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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