I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
