marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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