Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize