Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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