Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
