When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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