So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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