cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
