i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
