i think i have two assholes
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
