She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize