I faked an abortion last night.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize