My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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