You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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