What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
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I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
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If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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