i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
