On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
