I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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