so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
