All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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