apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
