Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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