I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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