So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
