Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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