I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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