I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
