absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
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You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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