There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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