walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm always down for nudity.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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