Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
high people should be assigned attendants
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
