I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
