I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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