Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
