Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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