Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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