We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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