My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
