so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
