Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
