I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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