proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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