I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
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P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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