mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
