If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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