You're completely useless in the revolution.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
