i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize