i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
