dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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