i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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