i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
