They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize